Today has been a hard day for me. I have some internal struggles going on right now and my mind and heart are being challenged. I have a problem with trying hard to please those close to me, and one day I need to realize that its just not possible ALL the time. What am I talking about you ask? Well I am not going to give any juicy details but I do need to clear my mind a bit. I tend to go a thousand miles an hour all the time. Im not sure why that is but Im sure there is an underlying reason for that. Maybe to avoid reality? Every time I tend to slow down the reality of my world hits me like a ton of bricks. Why do I do this? Am I the only one? Ok so I have issues, I hope Im not alone. I know this post is a bit confusing, but its more for my benefit than anything else. I long for true happiness in my life yet I tend to be the one blocking it. WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!!! Ughhh. This world is so full of things that can make you crazy, sad, mad, and hurt. Why do we add so much extra pressure into our lives?
I have decided to try to get back to my priorities and downsize my extra responsibilites. I want to be happy just sitting in my silence, without fears and judgements lurking in my mind, taking over my brain. You can tell me Im crazy and need help. I wont disagree, but if you know what Im feeling please tell me Im not alone. Ok, crazy talk over.
Im here in Utah visiting my sisters family. The weather is beautiful. Cold for us Arizonans but nice. I got to take a few minutes and play basketball with Jenna in the backyard. It was really fun. I cant remember the last time I did that. Or even just played outside. Look at my superstar and her jumpshot. With as tall as she is, she will definitely be great at basketball in a few years.
Dont you just love my sisters garage doors. So cool. I hope to take some time the next few days and really hang with my kids. I have no place to be, no obligations. I just need to be.
Dont you just love my sisters garage doors. So cool. I hope to take some time the next few days and really hang with my kids. I have no place to be, no obligations. I just need to be.
6 comments:
I will certainly be praying for you Michelle. You are truly a special person. Remember that. Don't be too hard on yourself. (we all do that) Just TRUST :)
You know I am here for you :) and you know I understand.
Enjoy this time out there! Miss you!
You are not alone...we all need to clear our plates sometimes and just BE. I can relate completely to what you are saying and have been struggling with my own inner battle with this very same thing. It's a change in mindset and we must put ourselves before all else or it will never slow down or end...we are the only one's who can make those choices. Peace :)
Life with kids gives us very little time to take care of just ourselves. I travel as much as I can because it gives me a chance to be Maija- not "mom" of "wife". I always come back refreshed. Try it!
I can definately relate...and I'm pretty sure most people can in one way or another. Give me a call or an e mail if you want to get it off your chest!Enjoy Utah, and your cute family.
nothing is wrong with you and you are not alone, i promise you (as you can see by the comments). as women, wives and mothers, we just (at least i do) expect so much from ourselves we forget we do have limitations. there are only so many hours in the day and we have only so much we are able to do...and to give. sometimes we really do need to get back to basics...to building our strong foundation, if you will.
see? you already know what you need to do. =) take some time to "be still...and know..." love u!
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